The Last Two Steps (In Conflict Resolution)

Pastor Leon Aguilera

¹⁵ Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. ¹⁶ But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. ¹⁷ And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.  – Matthew 18:15-17

Last week we looked at the need to possibly bring others into the picture to help resolve a conflict. Sometimes, even this strategy fails. The next move is Jesus’ seventh step in conflict resolution: Take it to the Church. Jesus said, “And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church.” Now, that doesn’t mean every offense between believers needs to be surfaced during a Sunday morning worship service.

First Timothy 5:20 says, “Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.” The only time for a public statement in church is when it involves a leader, a pastor, or someone whose sin is known to everyone. And then, for the sake of the body, so fear might come upon everyone. But I believe “tell it unto the church” means tell it to the leadership. Get some people who can really turn the screws. They can firmly say, You say you’re a Christian, you say you love Jesus, you say you’re living under the authority of this Book, but here are three witnesses, all who agree about your offense. Yet you won’t admit you’re wrong. So either act like a Christian or stop telling people you are.

You ask, That’s it, the final step? Well, sadly, no. There’s a last move. Jesus’ eighth step in conflict resolution: Be willing to end the relationship. This possible conclusion is why you must make sure this is a big deal, because once you start the ball of Matthew 18 rolling, you can’t get it stopped. If the person is hard-hearted, this could come to the place Jesus described in the phrase, “let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.” That expression was first-century talk for,We’re done with you and you can’t worship here anymore. From that moment, we wait with open arms. We pray God will change their heart and turn our attention to the people who do want to live under the authority of Scripture.

In the Kingdom of Christ, in the church, the individual is not more important than the whole. But if you believe God honors obedience to Scripture, then you will move ahead by faith regardless of the consequences. Be willing to end the relationship. But always pray that won’t be necessary!