15 Moreover if thy brother
shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him
alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. 16 But
if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the
mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. 17 And
if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to
hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. – Matthew 18:15-17
Today we begin a study of
one of the most oft-quoted and under-used portions of God’s Word. Over the
course of several weeks, we will touch on eight steps Jesus specified in the
process of conflict resolution. When you get into conflict with somebody, it’s
not at all unusual to hear Christians who know a little say, Have you
followed Matthew 18? Unfortunately, when asked, many of these
well-meaning people cannot actually explain the process Jesus laid out. We want
to make some progress in that regard.
It’s probably not hard to
bring to mind the name and face of someone with whom you have unresolved
conflict. Maybe it’s somebody you used to work with who undercut you in the
market place, or said something negative that injured your reputation. Perhaps
it’s an extended family member. Or maybe it’s one of your parents who said
something that shouldn’t have been said. And things aren’t the way they’re
supposed to be. The same can be painfully true if you have unresolved conflict
with one of your children.
We can’t avoid conflict.
It’s just a part of life. There is even going to be conflict between the
followers of Jesus. The Lord Himself said, “Then said he unto the
disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him,
through whom they come!” (Luke 17:1). Conflicts are huge temptations
to sin. The phrase offences is a translation of the Greek
word skandala which literally means stumbling block and
from which we get our word scandal. Jesus told His disciples these
potential scandals and offenses were “will come.” When they do
come, they often show up as conflicts.
The question is: How do we
resolve those conflicts and clashes? If we know something is unavoidable, it
makes sense to have a plan of action for when the occasion arises. Keep in mind
the names and faces representing discord in your life as we start through
Matthew 18:15-17 and Jesus’ eight steps to conflict resolution. We plan to
handle two steps each week that follow. I think you’ll see them clearly in the
text. And we will ask the Spirit of God to prompt us out of obedience to
Scripture to take some action toward resolution.
