SAVING AND MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIPS (continued)

by: Rev. Leon Aguilera 

Last week our discussion was on relationships.  We know relationships are important. They are important to God and should be to us as well. God doesn’t want the church, families, or friendships that He has ordained be torn apart. The first few things that we brought out on regarding saving and maintaining relationships are:

1. Remind yourselves you are not in competition.

2. Consider the fact that you may be wrong.

3. Be sorry, really sorry for the wrong you have done.

4. Take accountability for any wrong you have done.

Let’s continue.

5. Make restoration if required.

“And Zacchaeus stood, and said unto the Lord; Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor; and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation, I restore him fourfold” (Luke 19:8). It may cost you something to be right with God and each other, but it is well worth the price.

6. Take the initiative to restore the relationship.

Romans 12:10 tells us to “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another.” “Preferring” is from the Greek word: “proegeomai” which means to lead the way for others, i.e. show deference, to go before another as an example of humble submission. In counseling I sometimes hear people say, “I’m not the bad guy here.” And many times the defensive person is actually much more in the right than the other person. But think of this: if you are right and the other person was wicked enough to do you wrong, what makes you think they will arise more quickly from their “wicked state” and initiate reconciliation? Reconciliation is much more likely to take place if the more spiritual one takes the initiative. You must “prefer,” in other words, lead the way for others.

7. Forgive the one who offended you of all they have done.

David said in Psalm 25:18b, “…forgive all my sins.” Why would we expect God to forgive us of “all” our sins, and not be just as willing to forgive others who have sinned against us of “all” their sins? Partial forgiveness will never do, we must forgive all to have relief and to give relief. It may be hard, but it is the right thing to do. We are so tempted to put the person on probation. You may argue, well, I don’t want to be hurt again, but I say to you, take the risk. Love is a risk! The Lord took the greatest risk for you and me when He went to the cross and died the death that we all deserved. Listen to the magnanimous heart of Jesus and may we emulate this attitude, “Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little. And he said unto her, Thy sins are forgiven” (Luke 7:47, 48).

8. Regain relationship and don’t live in shame or blame.

The prodigal son’s father, in attempting to get the elder son to accept his brother’s repentance (which means to accept his brother himself), pleads, “It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found” (Luke 15:32). The father is saying let the past be done away with your brother’s repented sins and let us not let him live in shame! This is a new day and you have a new brother. On the other hand, let us not live in the blame game. May we say with the Psalmist, “Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit” (Psalm 51:12). May we take to heart the words the old hymn, “Nothing between my soul and my Savior, So that His blessed face may be seen; Nothing preventing the least of His favor; Keep the way clear! Let nothing between.” Let us remove anything between our Lord and each other. Let God save and let Him help you maintain life’s relationships.