Relationships
are important. They are important to God and should be to us as well. In I
Corinthians the apostle Paul had to deal with a sin issue that was not taken
seriously by the church at Corinth. Thankfully, the church readjusted itself
from complacency to becoming proactively involved with dealing with the sinning
brother. By the time II Corinthians was written, the sinning man had repented
of his sin. The new problem was that the church had not gotten out of their
disciplinary mode. So Paul had to say, “…Ye ought rather to forgive him, and
comfort him, lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overmuch
sorrow”
(II Corinthians 2:7). The Greek word for the phrase “swallowed up” is also translated
“devour” in I Peter 5:8, “…your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh
about, seeking whom he may devour.” This is pretty severe! I would hate for my
attitude toward any repentant brother or sister in Christ be compared to the
Devil’s attributes. There is only one time the word “schism” (Greek: “schisma”)
appears in the Bible. It is found in I Corinthians 12:25 when the apostle
declares, “That
there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the
same care one for another.” This word means a rent or tear, a split or a gap division.
God doesn’t want the church, families, or friendships that He has ordained be
torn apart. How can we save and maintain relationships?
1.
Remind yourselves you are not in competition.
It
is not me against him or us against them. If you are married you are family. If
you are members of the same church, you are on the same team. You may win the
argument but lose the relationship. Hopefully, relationships, if lost, will be
temporary. Don’t throw away that which God has given you. “For we dare not
make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend
themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing
themselves among themselves, are not wise” (II Corinthians 10:12).”
2.
Consider the fact that you may be wrong.
We
need to lay claim to Psalm 139:23,24: “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try
me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me
in the way everlasting.” A man was once asked, “It must be a difficult life to know
that you are always right.” In jest he answered, “I wouldn’t know because I am
never wrong.” The reason that is funny is because we all know there is but One
and One only who walked this earth without sin -- and that definitely wasn’t me
and brace yourself - - it wasn’t you. This One and Only One Savior, when
standing in the presence of a person who, according to the law, could have died
for being wrong, said, “…He
that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her” (John 8:7b). “…Neither do I condemn
thee: go, and sin no more” (John 8:11b).
3.
Be sorry, really sorry for the wrong you have done.
This
is where many of us fall short. We want to be humble enough to admit our
errors, but prideful enough not to be transparent. Psalm 51:2 says, “Wash me
throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.”
“Thoroughly”
means “fully; entirely; completely.” According to the Webster’s 1828 dictionary
the word “throughly” means basically the same thing, but the definition for
“throughly” adds one other meaning: “without reserve and sincerely.” One
student of our language commented, “What is the difference? Look again. You do
not have to be sincere or engaged to do something thoroughly, but you do to do
something throughly.”
To
be sorry for our sins involves becoming personal. We are not only sorry we got
caught in the wrong, we are sorry we did the wrong. The next point will explain
more “throughly.”
4.
Take accountability for any wrong you have done.
We
are tempted to divert personal accountability for our wrong. This is apparent
by expressions we use when we are discovered in the wrong, “I don’t know what
got into me”; “I was just beside myself”; “I went to pieces.” This is my
favorite, “I lost my head.” We are not dealing with our sin by distancing
ourselves from the act or acts we committed. We can only be helped if we own
the wrong, declare it wrong and determine not to go there again.
Listen
to the words of Joshua 7:19, “And Joshua said unto Achan, My son, give, I pray
thee, glory to the LORD God of Israel, and make confession unto him; and tell
me now what thou hast done; hide it not from me.” No matter how much it
hurts, confess. According to Joshua, it brings glory to God when we confess our
wrong. In the Old Testament, mankind died under the law. In the New Testament,
through the grace and truth in Jesus, we are healed. There is healing power in
confession. James 5:16 says, “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for
another, that ye may be healed.”
We
will continue this thought next tine saving and maintaining our relationships.
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